Existence of them

Okay. Have been wanting to blog about this for some time... But have been bombarded with school work, work, piano, social life... Boohoo. So didn't blog about it till today! Finally a day to breathe.

On the day of the officer social night thing, I had a long trip on the bus home from school. Was like a really typical day... But I was sick, as usual. Have been sick quite a lot recently. I don't know if that's normal... Hahaha. But yeahs. Have been sneezing on the bus like crazy. And there was an old man that was sitting beside me... That poor thing. Sitting beside me as I sneezed like crazy. :(

Was judging him as he began to sit beside me... I know, I talked about not judging. It's HARD. Well, He was an old man with long beard... Shabbily dressed. So immediately I had a not-so-good impression of him. He seemed like a tourist, holding onto many things. And felt like an American, since I have many American Prof in school now, I kinda am able to recognise them with one sight.

And there was a jam on the way home. Even longer bus ride than usual... (I apologise for my constant sneezing!) And every moment on the bus I was thinking, how long more till I reached home? Or I would be wondering, when is this old man finally gonna alight?

Mean thoughts... I know. :(
I tried not to think about it.

Then he pulled out this pot of Vicks from his small bag that was slung around him. And handed it to me, asking me to apply it on my nose and throat area, telling me I would feel better if I do that. I politely refused his offer, and blushed silently, mentally scolding myself for being so mean to such a friendly guy... And he began to talk to me, making to rest of the bus ride so much more enjoyable. Shall not bore you with the details of the talk... But it was about his experience in America. He's actually a local!

Western culture is indeed different.
You won't see locals or any Chinese educated doing stuff like that.
Not that it's bad for Chinese not to do that...
But it really makes one more comfortable.
The idea that someone wants to make you feel better.
That not everyone is selfish. There are still nice people out there.
Really heartwarming. :)

Real angel in disguise! O:)
He even wished me success in my future career! Gosh. How sweet can this old man get? If only everyone was like this old man... The world would be a happier place to live in. ^^

Surprisingly, I felt better for the rest of the night too.

New year resolution: stop judging people on first impressions.

NS Happenings

Wows. Truckload of things happened these week! Somehow related to NS. Makes me appreciate the poor guys wasting their precious 2 years a little more.

(Social Night)
First up was Bryan's Social Night. I don't know what is social night, how is it like, what to do, what not to do... Though Bryan had been a gentleman and briefed me through the itenary for that day, still it was nerve wrecking to meet so many new people in one day!

No idea how much it costed, since Bryan refuse to tell me (which makes me even more curious about the price!!!) But being a good date, I shall not press him to tell me...

Have always been curious about NS, and guys seldom share about these stuff with girls. They always share it amongst themselves, since it's so much easier. We would be bombarding them with questions if they were sharing those experience with us. Like me, I can't even differentiate coy (short for company), wing, platoon, section... (better understanding after these 2 days, but I was still extremely confused before this)

Going for Social Night had allowed me to see a different side of men. A more gentleman, not treating girls like just girls, but treating girls like ladies kinda men. It was fun and social... But at the end of the day, I still don't understand the purpose behind social night for these guys...

(POP)
Pass out parade! :) that's what it stands for. 2 things guys look forward to in NS are POP and ORD (I forgot the abbreviations for this, but it simply means that your NS life had ended. Yay you!)

And I had lots of friends whom POP was on the same date as my boyf. You can see the amount of small soldiers (from my seat they look like toys! Soooo cute!!!) there are at one POP session. All of them POP together! :) best day of their lives since they are unlikely (hopefully!) to be posted back to Tekong.

Woah. I felt like a proud mother watching this POP. :') can totally cry (you will understand when you attend one!) Boys growing into men... I bet that's how all parents felt on that day... It was a good experience. Make it a great experience (other than the fact that all guys would stink on that day since they would be marching 24km from the Tekong ferry terminal all the way to the Marina floating platform)

The platform had an awesome view... Marina Bay Sands (MBS) and the Ferris Wheel (okay, Singapore Flyer) all at the backdrop! So beautiful...

You can see how much effort they have put in to protect Singapore... So touching! Except for the lady's speech, which honestly could be shorter since I bet no one was listening... We all just wanna hug our friends and family (though they smell of sweat!) after the parade! :)

Some shots below with my best friend and our boys.

What a fruitful weekend! :) honoured to be invited to both events!!!

Strawberry Cheese Cupcakes!

omgosh omgosh omgosh.

i need to blog about theseeee!





you've got it!!!
STRAWBERRY CHEESE CUPCAKES!!!

have been wanting to make these since ages ago.
since i wrote a process essay for school on how to make these babies.

AND...
i haven't blogged a recipe in awhile...
but this one is toooooooooo yummy not to blog about!
so, needless to say, i need to blog about these!

to start, i got this recipe from Kay Kay, one of the HOTTEST celeb models on earth (im pretty sure everyone knows who im talking about)
(Click here for the recipe)
and she got it from Joylicious, another popular baker blogger person
this is her recipe, but kay kay did some editing to it, and i did minor adjustments to hers
so hereby, i proudly present... MY RECIPE! :)

Here are the ingredients:
For the crust:
15 Digestives crackers, crumbed
Half a blog of butter, 125g? (you can use a bit more, since mine were not sticky enough...)
3 tbs of sugar

For the batter:
4 egg whites and 2 tbs of sugar
1 tsp baking powder
0.5 tsp of salt
1.5 cups all-purpose flour
125g of butter
1 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
0.5 cup sour cream
2 cups fresh strawberries, hulled and diced

i didn't make the cream cheese frosting cuz it was sooooooooo good on its own! :)
when they came out of the oven, i was like:
WOAH. Y U SO YUMMY???

my crust of the cupcake was not really crusty (if you get what i mean) since there weren't enough butter to stick them.

okay, here are the steps!

for the crust:

Preheat oven to 170 degrees Celsius.

Mix the Digestives crumbs and butter and sugar and put roughly a tablespoon of it in each cupcake. 

Use your fingers to pack it down. 

Bake in oven for 3-5 mins.

For the batter:

Beat the 4 egg whites and 2 tbs of sugar till stiff. Be careful not to overbeat them, or they will turn watery :S

Set aside.Mix the all-purpose flour, baking powder and salt. Set aside

In another bowl, cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, then add the vanilla and beat with a hand mixer.  Then add half the flour mixture until incorporated then mix in the sour cream

Add remaining flour and mix everything.

Gently fold 1/3 of the egg into the batter until combined, don’t over mix the egg whites or the cupcakes will fall flat. Add remaining egg whites.

Hull your strawbies! Then dice them up and fold into your cupcake batter.

Fill each cupcake about 3/4  and bake for about 25 minutes depending on your oven.

and you are done!!! :)

 

Look at these heavenly, yummy-licious strawberry cheese cupcakes!

ain't you already in loveeee with them???

not only that, the bottom crust... mm-mm!

MAD YUMMY PLEASE.

no wonder im getting fat :(

Warmth, gone.

I finally understand the warmth of family...
Never felt so alone in my entire life.

Both boyfriend and family are away.
Though my older sister is still here, but she isn't home half the time. Promised to have dinner w me and pulled out halfway. Don't give me empty promises please. :(
So it's like I'm literally alone.

Boyfriend went for field camp...
Family went to Taiwan, without me.
Yes, WITHOUT ME.
imagine my devastation. :(
One of my dream places to go since my uni friends kept telling me how fun Taiwan was...
Man! Such a waste I couldn't go with them...
Imagine all the HUGE hot dogs I'm missing.
The amount of shopping I'm not doing.
All the fun from the trip. Sian.

Ohh wells.
But this time, really...
Can emo the entire night talking about how lonely im feeling...
The feeling is indescribable.
I hate being home alone...
So my future husband, if you are reading this, you know what to do. Don't go overseas often okay. Whether for work or not. Hahaha.

And today is only Day 2. How am I gonna survive 5 more days like that?
Boyfriend is outfield till Thu.
And today is Sunday. Gosh.

Burying myself in work.
Sighs.

strawberry cheese cupcakes time?

ever since i've read yankaykay's blog (kaykay.sg), i have been wanting to bake these cupcakes for a really really long time!
http://www.kaykay.sg/2012/10/recipe-for-strawbie-cheesecake-cupcakes/

STRAWBERRY CHEESE CUPCAKES PLEASE!!!
who can deny that these ain't the best combination ever?

strawberry and cheese, both my favourite food. irresistible.

eh.... time, please allow me to bake some yummy cheesecakes please...?

rantrantrant

it's been a longggggggggggggggggg time since i last blogged.
and you know why???

because this is happening to me!







out of all honesty, I always visualized uni education to be like this











 Since they always told me how slack uni life was gonna be.
a lot of free time.
more time to do your research and other stuff.

yeah...
lesson time is indeed reduced...

BUT NO. DON'T BE DUPED.
it's the exact same thing when they said poly life was slack.
SLACK MY FOOT.
i entered poly, and i could barely breathe. but well, i still had time to go out, time for friends, blah blah...
but in uni? it totally sucked my soul out of me.

life of a uni student: we mug and mug and mug everyday.
end of story.

okay. this is gonna be a ranting post.
since i have yet to rant properly for a veryyy long time.
so let me rant, will you?

i have been doing project work. A LOT.
in school...
and i never had a problem.
is it me? or is it that person?
it's just so... square.
no flexibility.
humans are meant to be flexible.
adaptable to changes, whether you like it or not.
SO....
Y U SO INFLEXIBLE???

i don't understand one thing.
and this came about when doing project work, as well.
wow. through project work, i've learnt a lot about humans eh?

sooooo...
here is the question:
why are there political issues existing between friends?
between classmates?
between coursemates?
between schoolmates?
why are people so judgemental?
can't you leave your judging attitude at home for one day? just ONE DAY?

i admit, im guilty of it too. sometimes.
in situations when people annoy me, i tend to be a tad more judgemental.
hello? you are annoying me? i believe i have the rights to judge?
but in other situations, i don't really judge. unless someone alerts my judging sense, or im already annoyed with you to begin with.
otherwise, i don't judge people. at all.

someone tell me please.
is it in human nature?
is it that hard to learn to live in peace with someone?
is it that hard to not judge, at all, unless someone annoys you?

answer me, please?

Baking macarons

Macarons are soooo beautiful.
But I swear they are an angel in disguise.
Don't be fooled by those YouTube videos, telling you how easy to make those macarons are.
THEY ARE NOT.

I failed twice. TWICE.
Was soooo angry, upset. Crying deep down.
The question was: why did I fail?
My ingredients are correct.
I've done everything according to the instructions.
Everything was right.
So... WHY???? :( :( :(

I had a nightmare last night.
One that was soooo real.
Okay. It wasn't exactly a nightmare. It's more of a dream.
I finally made macarons. IN MY DREAM.
I found out why it was soooo hard to make macarons.
1. Macarons are normally made in angmoh countries. Which are cold. And less humid. Unlike singapore.
2. I didn't beat the eggs long enough. I needed to beat the eggs till they are like meringue.

And to make the macarons, these 2 main steps must be correct.

Images of my macarons are found below.
It ain't totally perfect yet, since this is my first successful batch.

Just bake accordingly. And remember, place it in an air con room before baking. And you'll succeed. :)

Much loved. xx

Happy Birthday Wan Ting! ♥ ♡ ♥

Happy 15th birthday my beloved sister! :)
Bought her a birthday cake and spent half the day with her.
Soooo happy. Gonna go shopping with her tmr too! Teehee. Can't wait since its a whole new experience.

Work life balance.
I kinda understand what it means now...

Time vs dreams

I claim that I have no time.
Rather, not enough time.
In actual fact, I do have time.
I'm just overwhelmed by greed.
I want everything.
I want to do my best in everything.
I want a piano degree.
I want a hotel management degree.
I want to work more. To earn more money.
I want to pursue my dreams by working at Tom's Palette.
I want to be part of the sub-committee.
I want a piece of every pie.
The irony comes in when I told my student not to learn so many instruments. Focus on one. And do well in that.
I'm not even heeding my own advice.

I know what's right for me.
What's good for me.
What I can do well.
What I want.
But the problem is, out of all the things I want, which are the ones I can achieve?
Which are the ones I can truly get?
Many occasions, we all want what's good for us. What would aid us in future.
Which is why our parents constantly send us for piano class, for tuition lessons, for enrichment programmes...
But what about living our lives to the fullest?
By doing all of that, would we be living our lives to the fullest?

I know I'm not living my life to the fullest right now.
I'm just surviving.
Like how food is just energy to the body, instead of appreciating the flavour and taste of the food.
I'm living life that way too.
I yearn to live life the other way.
Like the boss of Tom's Palette, whereby I can pursue my dreams. Make the best cupcakes in the world. Be the best baker ever.

But is that enough? Would that keep me going? Can I survive by living on my dreams? Is that even realistic?
It's like living on love.
When in love, two people are blinded by all the other aspects in the world.
They believe they can live on love. That love can overpower anything. And they won't have surviving problems as long as they live on love.
Well, ultimately there is a way out, somehow.
Begging, loaning, borrowing, stealing.
One of the ways... You can still survive eventually.
But would you be against your own morals?

That's how I don't want to live my life.
Pursuing my dreams and forgetting my own morals.
Which is why I'm working so hard.
But that's why I'm giving up on my dreams.
I don't know if I can afford my dreams.
This is so complex. :(
I wish life was easier.

math madness

omgosh. i still cannot believe that i have such HUGE guts to challenge my math Professor today!!!
I must be mad. or something.
please...
he is a PROFESSOR, fyi.

my guts are really huge. gosh.

okay. so this is the question that i challenged him
 Is 4^(1/3) a rational number?
Professor: Yes, because the number goes on and on.
Me: No it doesn't. Look!

Me: If i manually input all the numbers, I would get a full number 4.
Professor: That is the saved number in the calculator.
Me: *frustrated* it's not!!! i manually input all the numbers in.
Friend X: Perhaps the rounding off number gives you a nice number...
Maybe the value does not stop there?

I was a bit doubtful about it. And i need to see it to believe it. Thus, i decided to find a calculator with more than 9 decimal placing to do that.
Voila, Friend X was right!!! :( :(

it was 1.5874010519.........
ohh wells.

Verdict: Professor is right. (PS. Professor is never wrong...)
and i conclude that i officially think too much

*facepalm*

Hectic school + zouk

Omgosh.

Haven't Blogged in such a long time.
Am sick now, so taking the chance to blog a bit.
Hahaha.

I'm down with a fever, flu, cough, headache and sore throat.
Gosh. That's a really long list.
But yeahs. I feel really sick.
Like nothing got to my head at all today. :(
AND I HAVE A FREAKING TEST ON THURSDAY.

Screw it luhs.

But I finally went clubbing on Saturday! :)
Okay. Been to a club.
Didnt really club dance or drink much since I wasn't feeling too good that day.
Like damn hungry and when I was finally full, I felt so bloated. Weird feeling man. Don't know if it's cuz i didnt have a proper dinner.
Whatever. I wasn't drunk anyway. Which was a good thing.
Cuz I get drunk really really really easily. :(
Boohoo. I'm a lousy drinker.

But well, stepping into a club makes me really insecure... Like guys kept staring!
I just kept holding onto my girlfriend's hand. No way am I gonna let it go.
And some girls are like really letting themselves lose.
I had some girls touching me... Like awkward!
I was just totally not used to it.

A few of my first timer friends went maddd though.
They were really really wild!
It was hectic. They drank too much.
One even hugged my girlfriend and didn't wanna let her go when we were about to go off.
Goodness.

Will I go clubbing again?
NO.
Like are you freaking serious??!?!
Okay. I sound like some total nerd now.
But I totally didn't enjoy myself.
I'm not sure is it cuz I'm not used to my uni friends yet. But I was really image conscious...
HAHAHA.
real funny since all of them see me as an Ahlian.
Reputation: ZERO.

Whatever.

Speaking of Ahlian...
I don't understand why people always judge others.

Take a look at this photo.

I hate to say, but I have to agree with it.
People are judging wayyyy too much.
Sometimes, it ain't even your business.

And you do not know me.
Why the hell are you calling me an Ahlian?
Come on!!!

Please know someone, like literally know-know, before you judge them.
Tyvm.

xx

As you grow up, you'll realise that certain things in life change.

Your perception change.
What's important to you change.
People around you change.

Everything is changing.

So think about it, slowly and carefully.
What's important to you now?

I know what's important to me. :)

Return things back to me. Back to how it used to be.

How am I supposed to survive the next few days?

Quickly lost

Today's conversation was so quick. I was lost. Felt so empty inside. I didn't know what to say. Things just didn't sound the same.

I don't know if I'm thinking too much. Or there's really something wrong. Whatever it is, I miss you so. I really do.

I wish things were back to normal. But I doubt that's even possible.

What am I to do?

Crepe buffet with my girls! :)

It's been a longgg time since I headed out with the girls! :)
Super happy to be around them!
I mean, how can you not be happy around the best girls in the world??? :)
too bad chek is too busy. Otherwise full family already!

Since school started, its been soooo busy. no time to meet up with anyone. I needed a break! :( school + all my nonsense = super busy. Sigh. took today to catch up with my girls!

 

Awesome day with crepe buffet! We have been craving for it for sucha long time! Since von bought those  crepe buffet vouchers! Our expectations were pretty high since we knew how crepe tasted like... Maybe except Peify. Don't know if she had eaten crepe before... But von and I were expecting a lot. But vouchers being vouchers, they had a lot of enticing bullshit. Like ice cream with every crepe and stuff. So we were a little disappointed as it was a little different from what the advertisement showed.
It mentioned that all crepe came with ice cream.
BUT WE DIDNT EVEN HAVE ICE CREAM AT THE END OF IT LUHS. :( :( BOOHOO.

So this is the place! :)

ROBOLOTS!!!
Katong Junction, Level 1
(the one that sells bicycles as well) 
Check out their Facebook page! :)
https://www.facebook.com/robolots

-Near Katong 113

It is super far for all of us! Since we all stayed at the North or West. Whew... Long journey. Approximately an hour journey. :(

We were first served tea and some crepe. The crepe size half-sized. So it was pretty small.
It's like high tea. Hehs. Making ourselves feel a little 'atas'.
absolutely love. ♥

But I think von is mad!!!
She wanted to order 1 of every kind. WHICH WAS CRAZY. Though it wasn't a huge selection. In the end, she didn't order like 4 types of crepes. Otherwise, we totally cannot finish man!

I had about 14 crepes in total. Madness.
IM A PIG. :(

My friends liked the savoury ones more than the sweet ones. The savoury ones were really yummy! Roasted duck, salmon, blah blah. It was really refreshing after eating too much of the savoury ones. I really liked it too.

Look at this!

But well, they are a tad too salty for my liking. Peify seemed to lose her taste bud though. She doesn't think it's very salty. I think it's ultra salty. Hahaha. Funny. So it depends on you! :)

I loved the sweet ones! :) but I didn't like the cream cheese in the sweet ones. We dug it out of the crepe in the end. :/ quite funny. Crepe with no cream. Hahaha. The cream cheese was too... Milky, as my friend calls it! It tastes much better without the cream cheese. Maybe they could replace it with maple syrup or chocolate sauce instead. More enticing! Who wouldn't love maple syrup or chocolate sauce right? Strawberry sauce would be great too!
 

The place has really good ambience though. I really enjoyed the surrounding and everything. Some really good toys around there too. Really cool. :)

 
Well, it is a good place to bring your date to, for some light snacks. But since we only saw the buffet menu, so I'm unable to comment on the main menu. There were two separate menus, fyi :) so you could try the main menu next time then!

Since we had vouchers, it only cost us approximately $15 per pax for sweet and premium savoury crepes buffet! :) and $9.90 for sweet only. Additional $5 for top up of premium savoury crepes.

Without the vouchers, per pax should be approximately $20.90. For a crepe buffet, I think it's pretty reasonable... I'm not sure if you have to add on extra $$ for the savoury crepes though. Not a wide cariett, but I think it's sufficient. Both sweet and savoury ones are worth a try! :)

But I sure had fun today! :)
Some camwhore shots below too. ♥

 
 
So next time if you're keen on going for some crepe buffet, you know where to go. :)
You can explore Katong area too! Lotsa food there.

Enjoy people! :)

I wasn't expecting to miss him so much. I thought it would be fine. And I would be fine. But no. I miss him greatly.

And today is only day 3.
Kill me please.

Hate

There is definitely something that you'll hate about someone that everyone loves.

Strong word to use, but very true.

I'm sorry, but that's how life works.

Goodnight.

Compromise

Compromising. It's impossible.
Not for me. Not for anyone with no time.

I think I'm absolutely cruel.
To both myself and him
Why? Why did I do it then?
Am I being v selfish here?

Lost

Finally, im feeling lost.
I thought this feeling will never come back. But yes it did.

Feeling lost ain't the best feeling in the world.
Actually, it sucks.
Big time.

With school starting, im turning from busy to ultra busy.
I keep telling my friends "I will have time for you after work ends".
And work ended.
But Nopes, I don't have more time than usual.
In fact, far much lesser time.

School means project work, self study... And less important things such as social life.
And I don't have any more time to do anything else.
Plus piano... Taking degree at the end of the year.
Meaning I have to put in a lot more effort than usual people.
This isn't easy. Taking 2 degrees at the same time.
Plus my main degree is a 4-year course being squeezed into 2 years.
I CAN BARELY BREATHE.

I need to balance everything. But it's kinda impossible.
And I need to give something up.
As much as I don't want to give up, I need to.
No time. Absolutely none.
None even for myself. For my family.
Where do i fit everything else in?

This left me feeling terribly guilty for the past week.
I don't know what to do.

Praying that everything would fall into place.
Please...

Respect me

Give me the respect I deserve, and I would give you yours.