Time vs dreams

I claim that I have no time.
Rather, not enough time.
In actual fact, I do have time.
I'm just overwhelmed by greed.
I want everything.
I want to do my best in everything.
I want a piano degree.
I want a hotel management degree.
I want to work more. To earn more money.
I want to pursue my dreams by working at Tom's Palette.
I want to be part of the sub-committee.
I want a piece of every pie.
The irony comes in when I told my student not to learn so many instruments. Focus on one. And do well in that.
I'm not even heeding my own advice.

I know what's right for me.
What's good for me.
What I can do well.
What I want.
But the problem is, out of all the things I want, which are the ones I can achieve?
Which are the ones I can truly get?
Many occasions, we all want what's good for us. What would aid us in future.
Which is why our parents constantly send us for piano class, for tuition lessons, for enrichment programmes...
But what about living our lives to the fullest?
By doing all of that, would we be living our lives to the fullest?

I know I'm not living my life to the fullest right now.
I'm just surviving.
Like how food is just energy to the body, instead of appreciating the flavour and taste of the food.
I'm living life that way too.
I yearn to live life the other way.
Like the boss of Tom's Palette, whereby I can pursue my dreams. Make the best cupcakes in the world. Be the best baker ever.

But is that enough? Would that keep me going? Can I survive by living on my dreams? Is that even realistic?
It's like living on love.
When in love, two people are blinded by all the other aspects in the world.
They believe they can live on love. That love can overpower anything. And they won't have surviving problems as long as they live on love.
Well, ultimately there is a way out, somehow.
Begging, loaning, borrowing, stealing.
One of the ways... You can still survive eventually.
But would you be against your own morals?

That's how I don't want to live my life.
Pursuing my dreams and forgetting my own morals.
Which is why I'm working so hard.
But that's why I'm giving up on my dreams.
I don't know if I can afford my dreams.
This is so complex. :(
I wish life was easier.